All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
