I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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