Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
