Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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