Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
