Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
