he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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