i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
