Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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