Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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