It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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