If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
