Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize