well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
