You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
