ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
