I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
