so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
