The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
