I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
