idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
