hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize