I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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