Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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