It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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