girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
