Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
