home. puking in laundry basket.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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