So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize