Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
