Did you just see the Batmobile???
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
