I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
