I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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