Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
