i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
