after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
