Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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