Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize