If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
