My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
