I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
