Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
