Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
