Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
