I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
