i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
