where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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