bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
