I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
