Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
