Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My feet surprised me
I know her cup size but not her name....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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