My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
