I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
