I CAN MOONWALK!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
