I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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