worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize