PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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