Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
