i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
