But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
