you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
