I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
