note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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